My So-Called Life in Fashion
Angela, in My So-Called Life, was my first fashion icon
It’s a rainy Saturday and I’m in my mother’s basement, sorting through old yearbooks, photo albums and journals. Her efforts to downsize are resulting in my bringing home boxes of “memorabilia,” which is to say that I feel guilty about just throwing it away, even though I may never look through them again. But for today, it’s an eye-opening journey through my life in fashion as well as in womanhood.
There’s a prized photo of my and my erstwhile best friend, posing in Robin Hood and Maid Marion costumes (I was Robin Hood). There I am in my ballerina costume, looking awkwardly uncomfortable, looking much more confident in my breeches and boots jumping over a 3’ fence with my trusty steed, Lindsey. In high school, we had a uniform, consisting of plaid skirts with tops of either white or navy. Restricting, yes….but it definitely saved me the embarrassment of having to reveal to the other girls that my fashion sense had not matured any more than I had. Baggy shorts of various neon hues, topped with baggy T-shirts typically emblazoned with a print of an animal of some kind (usually a horse)….fodder for ridicule, to be sure. No wonder that I felt like a complete outsider my one year in public school, in 6th grade, in which all the other “cool” kids were listening to New Kids on the Block while I , a product of my parents’ generation (at least musically) listened to the Beatles.
Fast forward to my college years. By now I had at least graduated to wearing jeans (a proud photo of my in my 1st pair still exists!), but nothing that I wore back then was particularly flattering. My figure wasn’t bad - I certainly couldn’t have competed with Kate Moss (this was the 90’s, after all!) if I’d wanted to. At that time, I really didn’t bother myself with fashion, thinking that I had more serous things to do like saving the world. I joined a co-ed community service fraternity, and there I finally felt accepted - baggy jeans and flannel shirt included. I was also prone to wearing fluffy tops - sometimes sweaters, but mostly short-sleeved crop tops., for which my friend Elizabeth teased me mercilessly (“You look like a [powder puff],” she’d say).
I didn’t date much back then - an old photo of me with my 1st serious boyfriend brought back all the pain of that one night he blithely told me that I loved him more than he loved me. Ouch. A read through my journals also brings back “all the feels,” the ups and downs, highs and lows of a reluctant adolescence. Looking at my graduation pics my mother remarks, “I always wondered why you didn’t look happier.” It’s because I wasn’t happy. I had absolutely no idea, having lived my life as a straight-A-student, what on earth I was going to do outside of school!
And now, twenty-something years later, do I have it all figured out? Hardly! Why else, if not for a mid-life crisis, would I abandon a successful (and lucrative) career in hospitality to become a part-time salesperson at Kate Spade? Fortunately I was able to grow my short-lived career in fashion / retail, working my way up to become a Store Manger at Michael Kors, and then a Department Manager (Handbags) at Neiman Marcus. I’m grateful for the experience, and ultimately I’m proud of myself for trying something new. And hey, even if it was short-lived, at least my wardrobe now contains more than neon shorts and baggy jeans.
